Could You Fall in Love with a Fraudster? How to Spot Romance Scams

There's no good kind of cybercrime, but romance scams can be among the most brutal. In addition to financial harm, victims are left to deal with heartbreak, shame and feelings of betrayal. 

"I'm out all that money, and I don't think I'll ever get it back, and at 76, I don't have a whole lot of future," North Carolina resident Jennifer Dennis, a romance scam victim, told a Chicago news outlet.1 "It's devastating for me."

The approaches are as creative as the perpetrators are cruel. The North Carolina woman lost $70,000, believing she was investing in a new home with her romantic partner. In Massachusetts, a woman "loaned" her apparent boyfriend nearly $200,000 before realizing it was a scam.2 A California woman lost a toe-curling $2.3 million, believing her online love was helping her invest in cryptocurrency.3 

The most recent FBI data shows more than 17,823 people fell victim to romance or confidence scams in 2023, losing a collective $652,544,805. Further, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) logged romance scam reports from 64,003 people claiming losses totaling $1.14 billion.4,"id="footnote-5  href ='javascript:;' aria-label=" 5 footnote information" >5 The FTC also reported the median loss to a romance scam is around $2,000.

Before you think it could never happen to you, it's important to know exactly how these scams work — and why so many victims are entrapped every year.

What Are Romance Scams?

Romance scams, also called confidence scams or online dating fraud, are a type of cybercrime that happens when a bad actor builds an emotional connection with a victim online to manipulate them into sending the scammer money or something else of value, like personal information. 

How Do Romance Scams Work?

The power (and cruelty) of romance scams lies in how varied and personal they are. Scammers target victims online who are looking for love. According to the FTC, about 40% of romance scam victims meet perpetrators on social media, and 19% connect on a website or app like a dating service. Scammers often use information from a potential victim's social media accounts to learn how to attract them. Additionally, as technology continues to evolve, there is more evidence of fraudsters using artificial intelligence to gain potential victims' trust. And spoofing has popped up more as a technique to reel people in. 

After making an initial connection, the fraudster will quickly move their conversation with the victim from their original online meeting place to a different messaging app. This is to avoid disruption to the relationship if and when the scammer is kicked off a dating app after being outed for fraud. They might also make claims that the primary app isn't secure — whereas others can see their conversations — and might suggest to go somewhere more private.

Romance scammers begin their fraud by claiming to be temporarily working far away. According to Norton, common excuses are that they're working on a construction project outside the country; deployed overseas with the military; a doctor serving an international organization; or working on an oil rig.6

Emotionally entrapping victims typically involves moving quickly — declaring love or discussing marriage early on — but scammers often still take the time to develop connections with their victims. The women who shared their stories with the news outlets above spent weeks or months believing they were getting to know and trust their fake romantic partners. (Keep in mind, it's not just women who are preyed upon. Infosecurity Magazine reported that men are the victims in 52% of cases of romance scams.)

Once a victim seems sufficiently attached, the financial fraud begins. The scammer will ask for money for a variety of reasons — some as ordinary as a medical bill or asking for money to fly home, and others as seemingly unique as needing financial help moving inherited gold bars out of the country or offering to help a victim learn how to invest. Often, the money requests will continue as long as the victim continues to pay. Some romance scammers will ask instead for compromising photos and then use the images as blackmail.  

Romance scammers asking for money tend to request a specific payment type. The FTC says the most common requested payment methods are: 

• Cryptocurrency
• Bank wire transfer
• Gift cards

What Can You Do To Protect Yourself?

The reality of romance scams could be enough to put off anyone from online dating. But 10% of all long-term partnerships, including marriages, began in dating apps, according to Pew Research Center, including 20% of partnerships under 30.7 Finding romantic happiness is possible online, but dating app users must proceed with caution to avoid fraud. 

To protect against romance scams: 

• Look for the romance scam patterns noted above, including fast-moving relationships, claims of living temporarily overseas, moving conversations to another app, and canceling plans to meet.  
• Watch for additional red flags, including a too-perfect profile photo, and a drama-filled life story that includes inconsistencies.8
• Search for romantic partners online. Even people not on social media tend to have a digital footprint.9 
• Use Google's reverse image search function to search for a romantic interest's profile photo to see if it appears elsewhere with another name attached.
• Paste text from any overly flirty or complimentary messages into a search engine to see if it appears on websites that track romance scams. 
• Share your relationship dynamics with a friend or relative. An outside perspective can help you see past the excitement of new romance.
• Never send photos that would be embarrassing for the public to see.
• Never share personal data. 
• Most important: Never send money or anything of value to someone you've never met in person.

According to one study, the victims most likely to lose the most money to a romance scam between 65 and 74-years-old.10 Family members can help protect their older relatives by:11 

• Telling them about romance scams and making them aware of the red flags to look for.
• Encouraging them to talk about their online relationships.
• Patiently and neutrally pointing out any red flags.
• If possible, keeping records of all your relative's online conversations.

What To Do If You've Been a Victim of a Romance Scam

Knowing you've become a romance scam victim becomes fairly clear after you've given the scammer money — they either disappear or continue to ask for more. But even if you haven't yet lost money, you should immediately take action if you discover a supposed romantic partner isn't who they say they are. Here's are three steps you should take once you've detected a scam:

• Report fraud to the FTC.12
• File a report with the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3).13
• Alert the dating site or social media company where the scam started.

Falling victim to a romance scam can fill people with embarrassment, among many other emotions. But tens of thousands of people are entrapped by this fraud every year, and total losses make romance scams the fifth costliest cybercrime, according to the FBI. There's no shame in being targeted by a scammer.

Understanding the red flags to watch for and proceeding with caution can help people continue to make meaningful, real emotional connections — from those who ask only for companionship and care, not financial support.

Consider Signing Up for Credit Monitoring

Does remembering to regularly scan your credit report sound exhausting? Another option: Choose a service that will do the credit monitoring for you.

For example, as a Synovus Plus, Synovus Inspire, or Synovus Private Wealth customer, you can enroll in complimentary Financial Protection Services services through Carefull. Depending on the level of protection you have, Carefull will monitor your credit reports and notify you any time any changes are made. Carefull will also scan the web to make sure your personal information hasn't been compromised by checking websites, blogs, peer-to-peer networks. Carefull also offers full-service identity restoration if you become a victim of identity theft.

Learn more about how you can achieve peace of mind as a Synovus customer with Carefull.